A Book With Review: social anxiety

“What is society but an individual?"

― Osamu Dazai

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Thirteen million Americans struggle with Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). I am one of those who fight day-to-day to stay afloat in an overwhelming social world. Like any other mental illness, this disorder affects each of us in different ways with different levels of tolerance. There is, however, one thing I believe we all have in common: we don’t want to feel alone in the struggle!

Books have been a constant in my life and they provide an escape from the real world if only for a couple hours a day. There are times when I feel like I’m the only one in the world struggling with this disorder. Thankfully there are books! Now, I know that some of us have come across many self-help books which are great! But sometimes I want to read about people who like me are hyper-aware of their surroundings and though there are millions of us with SAD, I find it comforting to read about fictional characters that are just like me. These five books have given me comfort, hope and the courage I need to accept myself as I am. Keep in mind that these books don’t necessarily contain characters with Social Anxiety but rather have difficulties socializing for different reasons.

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1. The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang

This one is one of the best books I've read so far this year. It pretty much has it all: romance, humor, family drama, and some very steamy scenes.

Stella Lane thinks math is the only thing that unites the universe. She comes up with algorithms to predict customer purchases--a job that has given her more money than she knows what to do with, and way less experience in the dating department than the average thirty-year-old.

It doesn't help that Stella has Asperger's and French kissing reminds her of a shark getting its teeth cleaned by pilot fish. Her conclusion: she needs lots of practice--with a professional. Which is why she hires escort Michael Phan. The Vietnamese and Swedish stunner can't afford to turn down Stella's offer and agrees to help her check off all the boxes on her lesson plan--from foreplay to more-than-missionary position

2. The Lost for Words Bookshop by Stephanie Butland

Perhaps my love for books made me biased but this book is one great read. It will break your heart and make you smile all at the same time.

Loveday Cardew prefers books to people. If you look closely, you might glimpse the first lines of the novels she loves most tattooed on her skin. But there are things she'll never show you.

Fifteen years ago Loveday lost all she knew and loved in one unspeakable night. Now, she finds refuge in the unique little York bookshop where she works.

Everything is about to change for Loveday. Someone knows about her past. Someone is trying to send her a message. And she can't hide any longer.

3. Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

This book will leave you with a great feeling inside. You will see Eleanor transform right before your eyes.

Meet Eleanor Oliphant: She struggles with appropriate social skills and tends to say exactly what she’s thinking. Nothing is missing in her carefully timetabled life of avoiding social interactions, where weekends are punctuated by frozen pizza, vodka, and phone chats with Mummy.

But everything changes when Eleanor meets Raymond, the bumbling and deeply unhygienic IT guy from her office. When she and Raymond together save Sammy, an elderly gentleman who has fallen on the sidewalk, the three become the kinds of friends who rescue one another from the lives of isolation they have each been living. And it is Raymond’s big heart that will ultimately help Eleanor find the way to repair her own profoundly damaged one.

4. Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella

One of the things I liked about this one is the support system surrounding Audrey. I'm a firm believer that surrounding yourself with people who understand and support you is essential in the daily struggle. It's also a great example of the importance of taking your time when healing.

Audrey can't leave the house. she can't even take off her dark glasses inside the house.

Then her brother's friend Linus stumbles into her life. With his friendly, orange-slice smile and his funny notes, he starts to entice Audrey out again - well, Starbucks is a start. And with Linus at her side, Audrey feels like she can do the things she'd thought were too scary. Suddenly, finding her way back to the real world seems achievable.

5. Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

As you know I love books and I also love writing and getting lost in a different world is okay!

Cath is a Simon Snow fan. Okay, the whole world is a Simon Snow fan... But for Cath, being a fan is her life—and she’s really good at it. She and her twin sister, Wren, ensconced themselves in the Simon Snow series when they were just kids; it’s what got them through their mother leaving. Reading. Rereading. Hanging out in Simon Snow forums, writing Simon Snow fan fiction, dressing up like the characters for every movie premiere.

Cath’s sister has mostly grown away from fandom, but Cath can’t let go. She doesn’t want to.

Now that they’re going to college, Wren has told Cath she doesn’t want to be roommates. Cath is on her own, completely outside of her comfort zone. She’s got a surly roommate with a charming, always-around boyfriend, a fiction-writing professor who thinks fan fiction is the end of the civilized world, a handsome classmate who only wants to talk about words... And she can’t stop worrying about her dad, who’s loving and fragile and has never really been alone.

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It's always good to know and understand that we are not alone in our struggle. We don't need to be afraid of change and growth. Everything will turn out okay if you just give yourself a chance. Most important: be kind to yourself.

For information about Social Anxiety Disorder please visit the National Institute of Mental Health

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with your daily life that just the thought of sitting down with a good book at the end of the day keeps you going?

Books have a calming effect. In recent years they have made a positive impact on me.

I am one of the fifteen-million Americans living with Social Anxiety. It is a chronic mental health condition in which social interactions cause irrational anxiety. It is a fear of being judged by others in a public place. It is a constant battle with yourself when you’re having a conversation with another person. You are under constant panic when trying to figure out what to say and what not to say. Your heart beat quickens, palms begin to sweat as you try to carry a simple conversation. This is only one example of my daily struggle. There are dozens of other fears including approaching a cashier, a sales person, a coworker and even as close as a family member.

This has been a struggle for me since childhood and it goes beyond shyness. It was a struggle my entire life and as an adult it has become that much more difficult to interact with others. It’s extremely difficult to explain what this disorder has done to me and continues to do.

Books have been my safe haven, my escape from this reality, if only for a moment. They calm me when anxiety overwhelms me. In books I've found myself. I am part of each of the ones I've read. They transport me to places I would otherwise never see. I have met characters I can relate to and others that I wish I could be. If you are a reader, you know exactly what I mean. You don't necessarily have to suffer from anxiety to enjoy the effects of reading. For an anxious person, however, they are a pleasant escape.

Reality bites! How lucky am I to be able to pick up a book and instantly feel calm? It almost makes me feel invincible. Books have helped me not only to escape reality for a moment but also how to communicate efficiently with others. Perhaps communicating using book quotes isn’t the most conventional way, but it's a start! I don't see myself not reading. Like Social Anxiety, books are also a part of me.

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